When writers go bad (or How Knight Rider broke my brain)

It’s a common cliche that you only get to make a first impression once. I tend to be skeptical of absolutes, but in the case of the Knight Rider franchise I’m willing to make an exception. I loved the original as a kid (but then I used to love the Smurfs as well – kids have no taste), but after Knight Rider 2000, Knight Rider 2010 and Team Knight Rider I wasn’t really expecting much from the latest offering.

I was not disappointed.

The shortcomings of the series plot have been covered sufficiently elsewhere and I wasn’t expecting literary genius, but I didn’t even make it as far as the credits before they pulled a Swordfish* on me:

INT. SECRET LABORATORY – NIGHT

Token computer nerd bad guy is looking at computer screens displaying rotating wire-frame images of a car. He is visibly shocked.

TOKEN NERD GUY

“I’ve never seen algorithms this complex.”

Really? Really? What does that even mean? Is it really so very difficult to come up with vaguely plausible technical jargon? Over the last 10 years computers have become ubiquitous in nearly every part of our lives and yet writers (who presumably use computers to write this awful drivel) are still churning out technobabbling pseudo jargon that would make a Trekkie blush. Do they not get it? Or do they just not care?

Oh well, at least the Hoff was in it.


* To pull a Swordfish – inappropriate or anachronistic use of computing terminology in film or television. Often accompanied by a completely unrealistic depiction of running software as a needlessly complex 3 dimensional animation.

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